You know what seems to be everyone's favorite question? Other than the ones about me being a penguin. I know my life can be interesting on documentary channels and Morgan Freeman's voice can be distracting, but the question that seems to be used the most are ones where people use if, and you know what?
I've got a problem with it.
I was talking to a friend just recently about this topic and why it bothered me so much. Usually people ask this question in response to hearing something they don't like or as an excuse for why they shouldn't do something, and it's represented as the question, "What if X happened?", and that takes me back to a story from my youth.
It was an average day in suburbia, and the snow had finally melted. In it's place were lines of thick uncut grass, and after the few weeks that we left it willingly unnoticed were me and my brother tasked with cutting it. While it seems like little more than a simple task it turns out we were out of oil, and after searching through several stores for just the right weighted amount of fuel were we able to cut the grass. Being the older brother I was the first to do so, and after wheeling the lawn mower to the back yard it hadn't turned on as it was intended much to my surprise. It was confusing to say the least.
Unbeknownst to me the oil had already been poured in by the other members of my family, and in my confusion I took the now empty bottle of oil and poured it into the gas container. I had mistaken it for where the oil was supposed to go, and fortunately I was lucky enough for the container to be empty with only a few drops remaining, and when we were finally able to figure out the machine itself was out of gas we were able to get some from the local gas station nearby. The next day I tried to start it again.
It emitted a white smoke from its side, and after putting two and two together and realizing what I did I felt silly. It was burning the oil I poured in the gas container from the day before, but before this story my mother had been taken back by another one she read. It involved gas exploding upon contact with hot surfaces, and it was in the news she apparently had heard recently. Frantically she rushed outside and told me to shut it off before scrutinizing me for what I did. Her main question at the time was what if it had exploded. While it was a possibility that it might have happened for any number of reasons, her main reasoning behind it was that it was preventable in the first place. However what if it had exploded?
There would have been nothing I could do had it exploded for any number of reasons at any time, but the bottom line was that it hadn't happened and that's what mattered in the end. The problem with if questions is that indeed they are oftentimes preventable, but if something happens then it happens whether its beyond your control or not. For example there was a time I went to drink a glass of water and instead of actually drinking it I missed my mouth and poured it down my shoulder. What if I missed my mouth instead of drinking that glass? What if I had actually drunk it as I intended? One way or the other something would have happened regardless, and when something happens you deal with it in the present instead of worrying about if it might happen. This also extends to the principle of using if as a valid reason to stop yourself from trying something new. Such as people saying that they wouldn't try skydiving because what if the parachute broke while you were falling. While a legitimate concern it often leads to your fears overpowering you and keeping you from trying new experiences.
Another problem I have with if is that it can be used to pass blame off of somebody and place it on someone else. We've all seen this happen before no matter what the setting is. Maybe its a disgruntled coworker getting chewed out by their boss or a child looking for a way out of trouble. It usually takes the form of putting blame on someone else by saying that if they had done something differently then whatever happened wouldn't have turned out as it did. That if they had done things differently, then whoever is making such acquisitions actions would have changed. While admittedly things would have happened differently if that other person had acted as such during that period of time in the end the person responsible for a person's actions are themselves, and regardless of whether they do something or not what a person does is of their own accord. If a situation arises because of a specific individuals actions then they are to blame as it was a choice they chose to make, and rather than take responsibility for what happened they choose to use if to shift the blame from themselves and to someone else instead.
There are a lot of problems with if. Using it can become an excuse to pass undeserved blame as well as keep us from trying things out of fear that something might happen, but as situations arise we deal with them in the present, and you can't spend your life worrying about a fantasy. Oftentimes the best thing to do is simply live and deal with things as you go, and no amounts of if's can do that for you.
Want to ask me a question? Reach me and tell me how awesome I am? Or just scream that I suck? That's all fine too. You can always reach me at https://twitter.com/TryAgainWriter. Feel free to tweet, I won't bite. Promise.
